I felt the gate swing shut tonight. Liam saw me shudder. He knows how it feels and offered to open it for me. He's sweet. Doing it in front the others just made it worse, though. Cora started explaining why she wanted the gate closed, apparently unable to see how it's at all connected to my being trapped in the cage. Jason locked me in, all the while insisting that there was no gate. He acted confused by the idea there was even a cage. Then, he kept returning to remind me there was no gate and I wasn't trapped. Each time, he checked the lock with a big "clang" to be sure my freedom was restricted securely.
It's standard operating procedure with most people. It breaks my heart when my family does it though. Even the parts of family that have always maligned me as a matter of course. It feels like betrayal and hopelessness. It's something worse when the family that lives with me does it. It adds an element of loneliness... Aloneness... The last, no - the only one of my kind that ever was. Kept locked away from everyone else - not because I'm a danger, but because they simply can't stand my presence.