Cora's Dreads: Week 2

Sorry this was so late. The pics were taken on Sunday. I just haven't had a chance to sit down and type much this week!

We had a grand adventure over the weekend, and stopped to take these on our way home. As you can see, her hair is quite frazzled and knotted. It's still just threatening to turn into dreads though. Every time it seems like one is forming, we find it separated into multiple curls the next day.

Heart Attack!!!

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope your's is great, whether someone else is treating you right or you're treating yourself right. =D Personally, I'm enjoying an empty house and some alone time. The kids are serving a tritip dinner at a fundraiser. +Jason Shepherd  is working. Did I mention he's moved over to swing shift? Well, he has. I'll be picking up dinner at the end of the fundraiser, and meeting Jason at work for his dinner break at 8pm. Our big celebration will be this weekend.

The excitement started last night, though. I was given a super secret covert mission. I was to keep Cora and a friend out of either house from around 7pm until whenever I was called and told it was ok to bring them back. Both girls are about to turn twelve. When they turn twelve, they will move up from Primary into the Young Women's organization at church. The teens in the Young Women's group have youth group every Wednesday night, and they wanted to welcome the girls in style. While I kept them out delivering cookies to an injured member and eventually eating pie as slowly as I could....the young women "Heart Attacked" the girls' rooms! We didn't say a thing. It was about 8:30 when I finally brought her home. She mumbled something about getting ready for bed and went straight to her room. A moment later, I heard a very confused, "Um....MOM!" Cora was stunned and very touched that they would do something like this for her.

This weekend, +Liam Shepherd is attending a huge church Valentine's Day Dance in Klamath Falls. That's about two hours away. We still need to take Cora to a special dinner to celebrate her "graduation" from 8th grade, and we had promised the kids sushi next time we visited K.Falls. Instead of trying to fit everything into one night, we decided to make a weekend of it. Rooms are cheap, so the kids will have their own. Jason took Friday off so we can spend the day exploring and pricing out the various organic markets in town. Saturday, we are registered to see a bird show (Winter Raptors), and thought we might follow it with a nature walk. A couple of the kids' friends are going to have dinner with use, then attend the dance, too. One will be left behind in our care. He'll stay in the motel with us and hang out with us Sunday until we finally make it back to our area in the evening. Sunday, the kids are excited to attend church with some of the friends they've made at these big Stake events. All in all, it sounds like a fun filled weekend!

Affordable Organics Delivered to Your Door

While I'm not opposed to trading honest reviews for cash or free products (hint hint), no one has paid me for this post. In full disclosure, if you were to find this company valuable enough to sign up for a membership, you and I would both receive a referral benefit of $10 store credit. That's only useful if we like the company and products in the first place.

So, today I'm talking about The Green PolkaDot Box. This is where we buy our organic produce. Their produce prices average out to about the same as our local cost for non-organic produce, and we order enough for free shipping. The shipping costs on smaller orders is surprisingly low, which is great for people whose houses aren't regularly infested with hungry teenagers.  It may not be useful if you live in an area with ample access to organic products, though. When we lived in Portland, for instance, there were so many competitive options that a working knowledge of local resources made a greater variety available for a lower price. I don't think I've found fresher, or higher quality produce even at farmer's markets, though. The quality is absolutely impeccable.

This is a kind of buying club. You have to pay a membership fee to join. You can buy a "trial" membership for a single order for $10. If you then decide to buy an annual membership ($50), they will deduct the $10 you spent on your trial from the annual fees. That's what we did. Their website can be a little buggy but their customer support is INCREDIBLE. So friendly and helpful and positive! They bend over backward to help us out and are earnestly thankful (even excited) to have us as customers.

We currently only buy produce from The Green PolkaDot Box. They are constantly expanding their stock, but they don't have enough low cost options for the foods we regularly eat to be the best option. We still buy our nonperishable organics using our Amazon Prime account on Amazon.com at this time. I would highly recommend checking out The Green PolkaDot Box's selection for yourself, though. Their deals may match up quite well with your eating habits. They seem to be making a concerted effort to cater to vegan, vegetarian, diabetic, celiac, gluten free, and other special dietary needs - in addition to a commitment to offer certified organic, non-GMO products.

In closing, if you do decide to order from The Green PolkaDot Box, I ask that you please use our links. The referral bonus we receive will reduce our household grocery costs, and every little bit helps! (http://www.greenpolkadotbox.com/invite/id/17378/ in case you have any issues with the links!) Also, if you have personal experience with The Green PolkaDot Box, please share it below in the comments. I'd love to know how this program is working out for others!

Cora's Dreads: Week 1

It's been one week. Cora's excitement is palpable. Her hair is a wild mess. Each day when she wakes up, she examines it. There are always twists or clumps that seem like maybe they are going to form ropes. They change from day to day, though. It's only been a week, after all. She's mostly left it alone to grow how it will, but it seems inclined to form a big ball of knots at the base of her neck. She has me separate that a bit each morning so she won't end up with a giant ball or four inch thick dread or something in the long run.

When you wash your hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar, your scalp's oil production balances out. Over time, you find that it takes longer and longer for your hair to really need to be washed. Cora could probably get away with washing her hair about twice per week right now, but she is still washing it almost every day. Every time she washes her hair, the knots tighten up. Clean hair forms dreads faster, and this is proving to be a great motivator. She hasn't whined or complained about having to bath or wash her hair once all week!

We do have a little concern about acquaintances freaking out over her hair. People tend to get very stuck on the idea that hair brushing is directly connected to bathing and having your basic needs met. Also, everyone we've mentioned dreads to immediately makes comments about not bathing. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain the idea that clean hair forms dreads better and dirty oily hair just gets stringy. Stringy hair doesn't knot up well. The hair just slips out of the knots. Cora wears her hair down around the house, but we've bought her a selection of bandannas to wear when she's out and about. The local thrift shop has a wide selection of colors and patterns. She had a grand time picking them specifically to color coordinate with her outfits.

Cora's Dreads: Before

So, after much discussion and research and hemming and hawing, Cora has decided she wants to grow dreadlocks. Initially, she wanted small, thin ones that she can easily style into creative designs. After researching, though, she's decided to let them form naturally and just see what she thinks of the thickness her hair is inclined to gather in. If they grow in thick and she doesn't like the look of them, she can always separate them into smaller strands before they become too well established.

+Jason Shepherd has been making her brush her hair about every ten minutes. He says he's using up his ability to tell her to brush her hair as much as he can before it runs out. As of this afternoon, she won't be brushing anymore. If you know Cora, you know that the only time her hair looks like it's been brushed within 24 hours is when it's styled up - and has a hat over it! She had literally JUST brushed her hair for the 5th time this morning when I took these pictures. I think her hair is going to form dreads quickly and with little to no effort at all. lol

I intend to post weekly updates about her progress. In these updates, I'll explain some of the finer points of dreads in more detail, for those readers that aren't familiar with them.

Project Day - Cat Genie

It started off like any normal Tuesday. +Liam Shepherd alternated between eating, attended classes, and reporting on his every thought and action while not in our presence...and eating....and sometimes telling us about things we were there for...and eating. It was a generally positive and productive day. Cora is whipping through her new courses and had an exam to mail off. That puts her 1/6 of the way through a full year of Freshman Psychology in 2 days.

Mail drops off at our house, but we have to take things to the post office to send them. Liam joined Cora for the walk, while I enjoyed the rarity of a completely empty house for a bit. And that was when the excitement began! That was when the packages arrived. A late Christmas present. Something we've been wanting and talking about getting for as long as it's existed, but could never bring ourselves to splurge on. A Cat Genie.

If you're not familiar with a Cat Genie, let me explain. It's the most ridiculously expensive and indulgent litter box ever invented. It looks like a giant toilet for cats. I say giant because it's bigger than a toilet for people. It plugs into the wall, and taps into the water, and has a drainage tube that dumps liquidized waste into the toilet. If the data I've read is accurate, after the initial insanely expensive purchase, it shouldn't actually cost us any more than the litter we already buy. In fact, we spend a little more than most so we can have super environmentally friendly litter, and I think this thing will end up reducing our budget a bit. It takes a special kind of litter that it washes clean after each use, with a special kind of cleaner. It's pretty darned environmentally conscious for a litter box, is self scooping, self cleaning, and it even disposes of the waste for you. We can barely fit the damn thing in our tiny bathroom, and I don't think we'll even be able to attach to cool privacy dome accessory it came with. It possibly the most indulgent thing I've ever suggested. Our cats have no idea how good they have it.

There was jumping and screaming and roaring with excitement when the kids arrived home. I let them set it up as much as they could by themselves. They're always chomping at the bit for a new project. They're waiting until +Jason Shepherd is home from work to deal with the water and power issues, though. He wants to work on it, too, and the kids aren't 100% confident they can set it up without flooding the bathroom....again.

Let the Race Begin

Cora's first semester of books arrived this weekend. Let the sibling rivalry commence. She's decided that her goal is to graduate before +Liam Shepherd. It's not really important to her, but it gives her something to focus on. We're working on finding some less competitive inspiration for her. Liam's only real goal is not to let his little sister graduate before him. It's a very important goal to him and he's very motivated to accomplish it. 

Unfortunately, Liam is at a temporary disadvantage. The school had an administrative error and his courses are getting shipped out one at a time. He's been enrolled for almost two months and has only received one course. He finished it with ease, and is sitting around waiting for more. One course should arrive today or tomorrow, and another one sometime next week. Theoretically, a third should be shipped today or tomorrow - but I'm planning to email them Thursday to be sure. 

We're working out the lumps and figuring out the process. In a couple months, they will both have plenty of books and be working at whatever paces they find comfortable. For now, it's a frenzied and frustrating race for the lead, though. 

Lady Gaga Invades the House

+Liam Shepherd and Cora both love music. There is almost always music playing in both of their rooms. They sing together when they're doing chores or playing together. They take any opportunity to break into dance. Cora's all time favorite artist is K. T. Tunstall, but she enjoys a wide variety of other artists, too.

One such artist is Lady Gaga. She has expressed as much to my big sister, Aunt A. Well, Aunt A happened to attend a Lady Gaga concert last night, which Cora thought was just the coolest thing ever. Aunt A happens to be the coolest aunt ever, though. She arranged to call Cora when her favorite Lady Gaga song (Poker Face) was playing, so she could listen to it live over the phone.

So, Cora brought a pile of books to bed with her last night. Her plan was to stay awake reading until the phone call came in, however late that might be. Luckily, Lady Gaga chose to perform that number early in her show. I was barely asleep, at 10:39, when I was awakened by a text from Cora, letting me know she'd heard the song and was going to sleep. She will often text me when she doesn't want to get out of bed to say or ask something at night. That's a huge improvement on her not getting out of bed to tell us even important things.

This morning, she's bright and chipper, and I heard nothing but Lady Gaga all morning until the kids left for their Archery Club meeting. Luckily, it was super early today, on account of there being no school!

Went Off Without a Hitch

That's the theme of the day. The fuel company did, in fact, fill our tank last night. They got to us before the house even cooled down too much! We all slept comfy and toasty on our beds and went about our day today. This morning was pretty average, but this afternoon had a few twists.

First off, Cora had her 4-H Knitting and Crocheting Club meeting this afternoon. The location was changed at the last minute, to an mile or so away. We only have one car, and +Jason Shepherd  didn't get off work until half an hour into the meeting. Last meeting, a new assistant was so enthusiastic about "helping" Cora (in spite of my constantly asking her to back off) that I had to take her home early, in tears. She loves the kids and regular leader, but absolutely cannot attend alone until she's figured out how to manage this assistant. I was planning to walk her down and sit with her, but I'm going through a particularly inconvenient phase of healing from my most recent miscarriage. I'm frankly not up to the longer walk, and I would have caused a scene by the time I got there.

So, +Liam Shepherd walked her. There was a little confusion finding the place, but after a quick call home to double check their directions, they arrived right on time. He sat with her until Jason was free. Then Jason took over and Liam came home. By then, his friends were done with school and he was managing a text storm. It wasn't long before he had a buddy over to check out his new Star Wars Kinnect game. His buddy left about the time Jason and Cora came home. There was no sign of the assistant this week, so class was a smashing success.

Today, all the obstacles turned out to be smaller than they appeared in the mirror. Everything went off without a hitch. I'm looking forward to whatever culinary masterpiece Jason has commandeered the kitchen to create, and a few episodes of Star Trek: Voyager with the family, before bed.

Overachieve Much?

The day has finally come for Cora to take the first step in achieving her dreams...of becoming a world class overachiever. First, I'm going to give you a little background on me - to explain her ambition and inspiration. Then, I'm going to give you a little background on her - her goals, her motivation, and the expectations that have been laid on her.

So, I was a chronic underachiever as a kid. I went to public school and they had no idea what to do with me. I had an absurdly high IQ, and was very eager to please. When it came to homework, though, I ranged from so distracted that it was never finished - to outright refusing to do the work because I could not comprehend the purpose. I rarely earned less than a perfect score on my tests, but since homework was 50% of the grade, I still flunked. The school kept promoting me to higher grades in the hopes I would take interest in the more advanced work, but it was never advanced enough to hold my attention. When I was 15, the school district basically forged some records, gave me a test, and handed me a diploma to get rid of me. It was a much longer and drawn out process, of course, and Cora has heard many of the funny or weird stories that it's made up of.

She's also aware that I'm not an anomaly  +Jason Shepherd  had a rough road in high school but it also resulted in an early graduation. One of my childhood friends, and one of my earliest crushes, was the youngest person to graduate college at the time. I believe his record has since been broken, but when Cora heard about him she became fascinated with the idea. She had once told me she wanted to have her college degree by the time she was 12.

Here is where my controversial parenting methods move to center stage though. Cora had the intellect to pull that off. She was reading med school anatomy books for fun at 4-5 yrs old. By 9yrs old, her favorite author was Shakespeare. My friend had talked to me about his experiences, though, and I'd later become friends with some of his old classmates that gave me an outside perspective, too. I don't think such early college attendance has to be bad for every child that's capable, but it certainly was for him. As much as he felt his issues were a matter of not fitting in because of his age, it has always seemed to me that it was a matter of being forced into an environment he wasn't ready for socially or emotionally. In order to succeed at the level he did, his father had to push him at downright unfatherly levels. It would be the same for Cora, and I wasn't willing to do that to her or our relationship.

Instead I told her that I would support her goals, whatever they were. Heck, I even put her in swim lessons when she was 2 and wanted to be a boat when she grew up! I would not be pushing her, though. If she wanted this, it had to be by her own efforts, not by mine. I won't make her be what I want her to be, or what she says she wants to be. Who she becomes should be determined by her choices, not mine. Until 2011, she never put more than a passing interest into studying and academics, which was fine by me. I didn't remind her of her desire, or push her to work harder. She did become motivated though, and has been putting more and more time and attention into academic studies. Jason and I both think she is developing the motivation to work toward and succeed at her goal of early graduation and college with support, but not pressure, from us. An accredited diploma will make that monumentally easier, and she has asked us to enroll her in American School of Correspondence. It's self paced so if she isn't really ready for it after all, she has 6 years to finish. If she's particularly motivated, she can finish as fast as she likes though. Jason and I signed her up last night, and I expect she'll work through at least the first year or two of courses at an extremely accelerated pace. I have no idea how long she'll keep it up, though, or if she'll be ready to handle more than a single class at a time when she starts college. Only time shall tell.

A Day in the Life

Yesterday was a pretty average, normal Friday for us. I've always found these kind of posts very interesting, so I thought I'd share.

5:00am +Jason Shepherd's alarm went off. He got up, got dressed, had breakfast, made his lunch, and left for work.

6:00am Jason's work day started. He works all of 5 - 10 minutes from our house.
            +Liam Shepherd's alarm went off. If he was well rested, he would lounge in bed and read or work on his American School homework. He has a cold and didn't sleep well last night though, so he just rolled over and went back to sleep.

7:00am Liam and my alarms go off. This time, Liam gets up and starts getting dressed.

7:10am I wander downstairs and make sure Liam is up and moving. He's usually in the shower or getting dressed by now. Sometimes he falls back to sleep though, and I'm his safety net. Liam grabs a bite to eat (usually an egg and something carby like toast, a frozen waffle, a banana, etc), and heads to the local Public School.

8:00am Liam's Algebra I class is starting. He tries to get to school early (sometimes as early as 7:30am) though, so he can hang out and talk with his teachers and the other staff, and say a quick "hi" to some of the other students.
            I wake Cora up. She always whines, but the past few months she's actually started getting moving after only one wake up call. She moves slowly, getting dressed, feeding the cats, cleaning the litter box, brushing her teeth and doing something with her hair. She's really into her hair. Then, picking the perfect hat to pull over whatever hair style she just crafted.

9:00am Liam is home by now. Cora is ready to start her day. Liam is hungry again. He usually makes some eggs and english muffins for himself, his sister, and me. I make up what we call "Vitamin Juice" for us to drink with our breakfast. That's a nourishing infusion that is nutritionally similar to taking vitamins. Only, it doesn't upset our stomachs like pills, tastes yummy, and I can adjust it daily based on our habits and needs. I tend to drink it throughout the day. Everyone else has a cup at breakfast, and more if they are feeling run down during the day. After breakfast, Liam goes in his room and works on his Algebra homework. Cora goes in her room to work on whatever she's working on that day. She wrote a 35,000 word story and ate through Teaching Textbooks Pre-Algebra and Rosetta Stone's first level of Spanish recently. It's going to be a few months until we can purchase more Spanish, and she has asked that we enroll her in American School, too, instead of buying higher levels of curriculum for her. American School operates at a painfully slow pace, though, so it will be late January before she gets the materials for her first class. Until then, she creates digital art, practices singing with her favorite songs, knits, crochets, dresses up the cats, plays with her toys, and reads for fun.

10:00am Liam is back at the local Public School for P.E. He walks to and from each time, regardless of the weather. It's only 4 blocks from the house. Cora is out interacting with me again. Maybe helping with some chores, or asking for help on some project of her own.

11:00am Liam gets home from P.E. Jason has just gotten home because he has a half day on Fridays. He works 9hrs per day M-Th, and 4 on F. If Liam hasn't finished his Algebra, he does so. Then he works on the American School program. He brings out questions for me to help with, and quizzes for me to grade. At least once per week, he has an Exam too. These I don't have an answer book for. I look them over the best I can, and we discuss his answers. Then we scan it (in case it's lost in the mail or something) and he prepares it for mailing.

12:30pm Liam stands in the doorway of the dining room, holds his head, and declares, "ohhhh man.....I have brainfry." Then he walks to the kitchen while telling us (or the air, if no one is around), "I need something to eat." Cora stealthily appears in the kitchen about this time to either ask him to make her some lunch, too, or offer to make something for both of them. This week was special though. One of Liam's friends offered to buy him lunch. So, he rushed off to meet his friend. Since they were meeting at the library, Cora joined him. She had books to return, and check out. Plus she and Liam's friend enjoy hanging out, too.

1:00pm Liam's new mattress arrived. This was a belated Christmas gift that has just had one shipping issue after another (or should I say "suffered from being shipped via FedEx"). The latest estimate had said it would arrive the previous day, so we weren't completely blind sided. We brought it in, and were going to set it up in Liam's room. We opened the door to find that his definition of "Did an extra good job cleaning my room" meant trash, books, papers, and dirty laundry everywhere. Luckily, he was still goofing around at the library, so we called him back and asked him to clean and vacuum properly before we set up the new mattress. Cora came home along with him. She made herself a tuna salad sandwich (Jason just made up some tuna salad and put it in the fridge), some pickles, and an apple for lunch.

2:00pm Jason realized I hadn't had any lunch and dropped some microwaved left overs in front of me with instructions to eat. If he or one of the kids doesn't remind me, I won't remember to eat until dinner time, usually. I have "task initiation" weaknesses and would mostly live off of Vitamin Juice if others didn't interfere. Every other Friday, Liam has a standard appointment. He meets his friend at the library. They return books, check new ones out, goof around, then wander out into downtown to goof around some more until it's time to go to their Archery Club meeting. If one of them has some extra pocket cash, he buys lunch for them both. This week, his buddy had earned a Subway gift card for some achievement, so he bought.

2:30pm Cora started walking to the Archery Club meeting. It's about 6 blocks away, on the same street we live. She always has the option of being driven, but generally prefers walking.

3:30pm I started calling the kids. They're both supposed to call to let us know when they arrive somewhere, if they are going to leave, and if they run into problems on the way. Neither Jason or I had heard from either of them in an hour. Warm ups started at 3, and the meeting had just started. They had both been there since the doors were opened shortly before 3 and both forgot to call. They're both very apologetic. We were supportive and positive and don't harp on them or mention punishments on the phone, for fear one or both would become unmanageably upset at the meeting. Consequences can wait until later.

4:30pm The meeting is over. The kids called and asked if they could stay late to practice and hang out with their friends. We gave permission.

5:00pm The kids called to let us know they're coming home. We asked if they'd like a ride, and they both opted to walk. They were both being super respectful about keeping us informed. We decided that our brief earlier discussion seemed to have been enough correction. So, we let the matter go.

5:30pm The kids were home, and Jason and I were on our way out. It's date night for us. We reminded the kids that, other than the meat that's marinating, we have a whole kitchen full of food they can make for dinner. We expected them to eat something solid, not crackers or toast, for dinner.

6:00pm Jason and I had dinner at the local burger joint. There isn't really anything formal in town, and the food is better there than most of the family style restaurants available.

7:00pm Jason and I saw a movie together. I'll make a whole post about the movie theater another day. It deserves it's own post! There's only one moving playing in town, and only 3 showings per week. Friday is discount pricing, so we usually catch whatever is playing on Friday night- unless one or both of us has strong feelings against seeing that movie. This week it was Red Dawn. We were both really excited to see this one, because the original is a childhood favorite for us.

9:00pm Back home again. Cora took her evening shower while we were gone. The kids told us they had tuna salad sandwiches and about 1/2 lb of baby carrots for dinner. Could be worse. We gave them our leftover popcorn (we ALWAYS do this. I don't think I've gone to a movie without them without bringing home leftover popcorn for the kids since they were old enough to eat popcorn), and pop on an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (this will also get it's own post eventually. It's a "thing".) to watch as a family. Then, we sent the kids to bed.

9:30pm Cora was in bed reading The Hobbit. We have a rule about having to read the book before you're allowed to see the movie, and it's playing next week. Liam was saying his final round of good-nights and hugs before bed (he's a big hugger), and copped an attitude about some stupid thing or another. Before we know it, he and I were in an impassioned argument about him taking responsibility for his actions instead of trying to convince himself he isn't in control of his choices. Jason chipped in a little here and there, but mostly stays out of the spur of the moment things like this. He's an NT and can't quite keep track of where Liam and I are logically or emotionally when this happens, and doesn't want to aggravate things.

10:30pm We've resolved the issue, hugged it out, identified key problem behaviors Liam wants to work on, and determined a reasonable plan of action. He was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Jason and I cuddled up on the couch to watch some not-kid-friendly tv. All our favorite shows are still on hiatus so we ended up watching a couple episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We haven't watched it since it first aired and have forgotten so much it's almost like new, watching it again. We've been working through the series from the beginning when there's nothing else we like on tv.

11:30pm Jason went to bed. Most nights, we're in bed around 9ish, even with a little tv together. Fridays we can stay up as late as Jason can stay awake. He really had to fight to make it this late! I wasn't far behind him. First, I needed to make up tomorrow's Vitamin Juice, plus turn the heater down, check the locks, turn off lights, and make sure Cora is asleep or tell her it's time. She'll stay up all night reading, even though she's tired, if we don't help her remember to sleep. That messes up her sleep rhythm and has a ripple effect of negative symptoms and behaviors. She's really been making an effort though, and is usually asleep before I check on her.

What Do You Mean by "Unschool"?

Unschooling is probably one of the vaguest descriptions ever. By itself, it doesn't really mean anything. This is because every single person that has anything (good or bad) to say about unschooling has a very specific definition...that doesn't match up with anyone else's definition. I'm sure they'll all disagree with me and insist their definition is right, everyone else's is wrong, and I clearly have no idea what I'm talking about. More power to them.

Unschooling can mean anything from "I let my children help pick their curriculum" to "I think it's offensive and demeaning to ever correct, guide, or in any way parent my child".

I usually use the term "homeschooling" unless I'm dealing with other homeschoolers. Then describe us as "unschool-y" because they undoubtedly have a strict idea of what unschooling is, and we most likely don't meet their criteria.

A better term for what we do would be "Child-led Learning" but people just clarify by saying "you mean unschooling?" when I use it. Being stubborn about my language is something people really tend to hate, so this is an area I kind of translate myself.

So what do I mean by Child-led Learning? I mean the children are essentially responsible for and in control of their educations. I'm still their parent. I still nag them to clean their rooms and do their chores. I don't decide what they are capable of or interested in and then expect them to comply, though. We've moved a lot over the years. When we lived in very permissive states, that meant they were free to study what they wanted, when they wanted, or not to study at all. Because they were never pressured to learn what someone else wanted them to, they never learned to be resistant to knowledge. If they wanted to spend all day trying to dig to China, so be it. When +Liam Shepherd decided he wanted to read and work out of my college statistics textbook at age 7, so be it. He worked 3 chapters with 100% accuracy before tiring of the subject and focusing his attention on the culinary arts instead.

When we lived in areas with fewer freedoms, we handled things differently. Even when they were very young, I would sit down with the kids and explain the laws of the land. We would discuss, together, how they wanted to go about abiding with those laws. That could mean as much as annual testing and choosing curriculum for a variety of subjects. I know a lot of unschoolers just do what they want and try to evade detection, but that doesn't align with my personal sense of morality. As such, it's not a behavior I want to teach my children.

Now, we're back to a fairly permissive state. The kids can basically spend their days outside playing if they'd like, so long as they don't test incredibly dramatically low on standardized tests every few years. That's not what they want, though. The local high school offered to let Liam attend part time and he accepted. So, he's enrolled as a Freshman for Algebra I and P.E. He has enjoyed the academic discussions with his teachers, but finds all the disruptive and immature demonstrations by the students to make 2 classes per day his limit. A couple months ago, he asked us to enroll him in American School of Correspondence. Cora mostly plays with the cat and knits or crochets scarves right now, when she's not reading Shakespeare or something. I suppose I could have just entered that last sentence instead of this whole long thing. It sums up what I mean by "unschooling" quite well all by itself.

Happy New Year

Happy 2013!

I hope your New Year celebrations were amazing. Ours were Stressful but Successful. You'll hear that term from me a lot. It's a kind of family tag line. As a result, today everyone is content and mellow.

Usually, we spend New Year's Eve at home as a family. This year, everyone had different plans, though. +Liam Shepherd had his heart set on attending a big, formal dinner and dance at our Stake Center (about 2.5 hr drive through snowy mountains). Cora had her heart set on attending the Bishop's Breakfast and Board Game Night with our Ward (only a 5 minute drive). +Jason Shepherd and I were hoping to do something special, just the two of us, too. With the help of some friends from church, we were able to pull it all off!

Jason got home from work at about 3:30. Just enough time to shower, change, and get on the road. We left Cora with a very nice (if early) dinner, and clear, simple instructions. She needed to be at her friend's house by 6 so they could give her a ride to her event. We also called every 1 - 2 hours throughout the evening, to check in and remind her of each impending part of the evening.

Our drive was a little icy in spots, but overall not too nerve wracking. Liam arrived about ten minutes early. We had drilled him on proper etiquette for this event, on the drive. We've really been drilling him his whole life, but he tends to just mimic the behaviors of others in new environments. He needs to be reminded of what's appropriate and that we expect no less. We walked him in, said hello to the leaders, and headed off to dinner.

Dinner was incredible! I made reservations weeks ago for this trendy little Asian Fusion restaurant. We wanted a nice meal, but we didn't want to spend our 5 hours in the car while wearing dressy clothes. Well, mainly, I didn't. I don't think Jason would have cared either way. Anyway, this is the kind of restaurant where jeans and a nice shirt are totally appropriate. Perfect! And wow. The food was just ... WOW! Jason had huli huli beef, and I had peppercorn seared ahi tuna with Asian slaw and avocado wasabi mousse. It was even better than it sounds. Plus, it was an artistic masterpiece. You know, where the chef uses different sauces to make your plate look like modern art, then stacks the food onto it like a sculpture. We had one of the house specialty sushi plates for an appetizer  coconut limeades, and croissant bread pudding with yummy sauces for dessert. It was heavenly. It was also significantly cheaper than we had expected, and we plan to make dinner there a regular thing when we go into that town.

The restaurant was understaffed and we really took our time anyway, so we just wandered around downtown a bit. Then, it was time to pick Liam up. The celebrated an East Coast New Years at 9pm our time. The dance was over at 10. As we entered the building, we were practically accosted by the adult leaders. In turn, they all came over to rave about how much they love Liam and how polite and well mannered he was. I think every girl in the place made a point of saying goodbye to him. We had pointed out how much time and energy the girls went through getting ready, and that they all wanted a boy to ask them to dance (though the girls around here are really good about asking the boys too), and it wasn't about crushes or finding them attractive. It was about having fun with friends, and making sure your friends have fun too. Apparently he took it all to heart. He danced every single slow dance, and made a point of asking girls that weren't getting asked (and one boy. lol). He wasn't at all intimidated by the kid that tried to tease him for his fast dancing because, "Of course I looked weird when I was dancing. Everyone looks weird when they're dancing. It's dancing." There was no food on his clothes, which indicates far better than his usual table manners! He even came home with phone numbers of several kids, both boys and girls. It was a total win.

Then we drove home. It was a long, treacherous drive, and I think even the driver was asleep for part of it! We made it to the Bishop's Breakfast ten minutes after midnight!!! Just barely missed it, but earlier than we'd expected. We thanked the family that had brought Cora, and were again overwhelmed with compliments. I think this quote sums it all up well. "Cora behaves the way we hope our kids would behave when they're with someone else." As far as I can tell, she really just did everything right all night (except turning the lights and closing the front door all the way when she left, but those aren't surprises). She also had a wonderful time and was running around playing happily with other kids until we wrangled her down and forced her to come home with us.

I don't really remember anything past that. We all passed out as soon as we got home. I don't think any of us even made it out of our party clothes, and Jason didn't even make it all the way upstairs to the bedroom! He sat down on the couch "for just a minute" and was still there when I woke up in the morning!